Politics
Man I am really starting to get tired of politics lately. We have now had every possible election in the last few months. As of today it will be over for a while thankfully. I am tired of hearing the slanderous campaigns. I am tired of hearing each party spend all their time and money on slashing the other party instead of talking about the issues. I think they do that because in reality they all have too similar of views and want the public to think otherwise, for then they might smarten up and vote for the more honest and sincere person instead of for a particular party no matter who the loser leading the party may be. I happen to not really have anything against Ralph Klein, he is one of the few leaders that actually did what he said he was going to do, to the shock of the people. Well we need more people like him. I might not agree with what he did but we voted him in after he said what he was going to do so who are we to complain, RIGHT!

One day left
I feel like a very repeatitive drone! All I seem to think or talk about lately is the move! Well it's tomorrow! The movers should actually be arriving at my home in Edmonton as we speak, to load all our CRAP into a big truck. They keep it over night and bring it to Calgary sometime tomorrow. So basically that mean I get to sit in a completely empty house and twiddle my thumbs. Man contractors can be such a pain. I am sure everyone at sometime at least once have heard these words "We will arive sometime between 9am and 4pm" At least sometiems they will narrow that down to the AM or PM but come on, how hard is it to schedule apointments, or at least call an hour or so ahead when you have a better idea, that would give you plenty of time to get home in time if you have other things to do. Like come on, I have to spend the whole morning at home because sometime that morning you will arrive to do a 5 minute job. Give me a break!
I did find a cool web site today, seems to be only available in the states though www.emove.com, it's basically a site where students can list their services to make some extra cash by helping people move, they will pack your stuff, or load, or drive your u-haul or what ever else you need. I found the link on U-haul's web site. Kind of a neat business idea. I wonder if the company who manages and placed the website take a portion of the earnings people who get work off the site get. hummm?
I get my Dog tomorrow, tomorrow, it all happens tomorrow!!!!

Moving...
Man the last time we bought a house everything was soooooo... simple. We paid for it, we moved in. This time we decide to buy a new house and now we are having to deal with contractors, and builder's and warrentee's and appliance installations of all things. And don't get me started on Blinds!!!! Then next spring it will be the fence, deck and landscaping. So it sounds like the next few years are going to be caotic! should be loads of Fun!

Dear Twisted Stix;
I read your blog and thought why not ask the question that's been plaguing me lately. You see I'm a 28 year old female and I met this guy who is 23, and I really like him and he's a lot of fun but I can't seem to get my mind past the age difference. Do you think an older female can have a successful relationship with a younger man?
Signed,
Does Age Matter

Dear Does Age Mater;
Thanks for the question, I actually have a good friend who is going through the exact same thing right now and she asked me the same question, so I am going to tell you what I told her. If you were 65 and he was 60, would you have a problem? Most likely No. The issues right now is the particular ages you both are at. It's not different from when your 18 and he was 13. Your at different stages of life generally. Frankly a typically 28 year old female has one thing in her mind when it comes to relationships, "how long before he will ask me to marry him?" Where as a 23 year old male who in his mind still has a good five years before he has to think about such stuff, he's more out to experience life still, where the female has already done that and is ready to move on. Guys seem to have stages and the marring stage seems to fail between 27 and 33, before that they just want to be out and do a lot of stuff, after that they have a new found desire for youth and will try to date very young women or they get to set in their bachelor ways. I am not saying it wont work, for every person is different. Some people mature faster or slower then other's. You may be a women who isn't interested in marriage for at least another 5 to 10 years and the guy could be one of those guys that has been ready to get married since the first day he figured out that girls were different then boys. So it all boils down to... Follow your Heart, if you have doubts that he is ready for what you are looking for then your most likely right. Be honest and talk to him. He could be the same age as you and be less interested in marriage then a 20 year old. If you guys can find some common ground of goals and interests for this stage of your lives even if they are not identical, it could have great potential. But if your looking for that committed relationship and he's still living with mommy and daddy and going to school and can't think ahead past where's he's going out drinking that evening. Then you have a problem.
Signed,
Twisted Stix

My Weekend!
I hate Moving!
It all started at 5:30 am on Friday when I went to my car to head into work(It was a friday closure) to make up the hours I am taking off on this coming Friday for the offical move. I drove a few blocks and discovered I had a flat tire. I mean flat! luckily there was a gas station there so I pulled over and tried to pump some air into when I discovered not only was it flat but it was popped off the rim so it would never hold air.
So here I am at 5:30am in a mini skirt having to change a tire at a gas station. people are coming and going and not one person asked if I needed help. Then I discover my jack is bent and wont hold up the car high enough before it loses balance and falls over. So I decide to go into the gas statation and ask if they have a jack. The guy says no but he has one in his car and I ask if I can borrow it and he says no. THEN WHY MENTION IT!!!!!
So back outside I go. So now I am at a loss at what to do so I open my trunk and search through my dirty laundry that I had in the back to take to Edmonton to wash and find my fleece pajama bottoms and put them on over my skirt for warmth for it's like -8 degree's celcius.
So I finally find an alternative jack location that is far enough back that I don't need to raise it as high before the wheel can be removed. So now the tire is changed. You would think my battle was almost complete, but no, I only have a doughnut for a spare so now I need to get a new tire.
It took me an hour to get the tire changed when usually it takes me a max. 10 minutes to change a tire. So it's now 6:30am. Nothing is open so I decide to drive to Canadian Tire to wait till they open to get my tire changed. I am sitting in the parking lot when this guy from the Automotive department who was clearing out the mechanic bays, to put in the car's to be worked on into the garage. He see's me parked there waiting and walks over, so I open my window to hear what he has to say.
He informs me that he had noticed my doughnut and was assuming I was there to have a tire installed and wanted to let me know that before I sat there for another 1 1/2 hours till they opened that they are back logged a lot and they wouldn't get to me till late afternoon so I would have to leave my car.
This wouldn't normally be such a big deal because Canadian Tire is within easy walking distance from My mother-in-laws(who I am living with in Calgary) but my husband was coming in on the bus at 12:30 that afternoon so that we could go see the house we are buying for he hadn't seen it yet, and go to the lawyers to sign all the paper work for selling our house and buying the one here in Calgary.
So I left and decided to find another place, so I went to Walmart and waited till 8am for them to open. Found the service station waited in line for a 1/2 hour for them to tell me as well that they wouldn'tbe able to get to it till late afternoon. So I storm off in a huff swearing at the guy :-) Can you picture it! Me?
So I tried a couple of more places till I came to Baskin & lane and he asked me if he could help me, and I said "Yes, by telling me you can have a tire changed before 12 noon" and he said Sure I can tell you that :-) He had it done by 10:15!!! I was so happy, but by this time to pick up my Husband at 12:30 I didn't have time to drive to work. I would have like what an hour to work, not worth it?
So I went back to Scott's mom's, I decided to die my hair instead and it turned out a heck of a lot darker then it was supposed too. It's almost BLACK! My mother is going to cringe! So once that was done I headed to pick up my husband, Who ended up taking the later bus so I ended up sitting and waiting for him for 45 minutes.
At least viewing the house and seeing the lawyer went some what smoothly. Besides having a heck of a time finding the lawyers office. So then after the Lawyers (like 5:30pm) we headed back to Edmonton. We got to Edmonton a little after 9pm, relaxed for a few minutes watched Enterprise and went to bed.
Got up Saturday morning and took my dog for an 1 1/2 hour walk, and then we started packing, and organizing. Got a call from the guy who bought our house, he had a few potential renters wanting to see the place at noon. We told him the place was a mess but feel free, so he come's by and shows the place which was just fine, but then he got looking and talking over the lawyer papers and he decided they were done wrong which if that is so will put back the whole process of taking possession of the new house and selling our old one and will cost us more money. FUN!
So after he left I had to quickly shower to go meet a friend of mine who had out of the blue called and asked to see me which is very unusual so I felt I should go, plus I always love to see her. Turns out she's pregnant after trying for two months, she's also already 3 months pregnant. Great news!!!! I am glad one of us has been lucky in that department.
So then I headed home and we got some more packing done and then we had another possible renter come by to view the place and this time the guy who is trying to rent our house showed up late so we ended up having to show her the place. She seemed to love the place but is hoping to move in sooner then what we originally intended to move out by. So now we need to work faster for it would save us a bit of cash. Then at 7pm we had to take Tyra(our Dog) to a Fly ball practice. Where because My Husband can't walk (he had his Knee operated on a short while ago) well let alone run, I ended up having to run with her and my first time down when I was supposed to cross over, I miscalculated how long it would take Tyra to grab the ball and turn around and ended up tripping on her and landed on my head and got a slight concussion.
We were there for two hours, imagine having a slight concussion, now imagine being in a small concrete building with 12 dogs barking as loud as they can and continuously the whole time. NOT PRETTY!!!! and Tyra was the loudest of them all!
Then Sunday came along!!!!!
We got up Sunday morning and I worked on packing up the kitchen while my husband started loading his truck up for taking a load to the dump. Then we get a call from the guy at 9:15 that left his couches at our place for storage, him and a freiend were coming over at 10:30 to get the couches and they needed Our truck to move them. Remember we were loading the truck for a dump trip?
So now we are rushing around trying to load all the garbage up and all the crap stuff we don't want to take with us so we can rush to the dump and unload it all and be back by 10:30, so we had an hour and 15 minutes. FUN! We made it back at 10:45, which worked out well because they had arrived at 10:30 and had the couches already out on the front lawn because Our roommate was home and had let them in.
So we loaded them up and took them to the guys place. We unloaded the stuff and made it home by 12 noon, which was pretty good timing. So now we needed to finish all our packing because it ends up the person who is going to be renting it want's to move in this coming weekend. so now we are in a little bit more of a crunch for we thought we had two weeks left to clean and all that stuff. So we worked our butts off and were done by 4pm.
Now we quickly loaded up another load of truck(1950 ford) parts into Scott's truck to take to my parents place to store. We left at 5pm and we didn't arrive to my parents till almost 8pm. Then it took an hour to get my father motivated and off the phone to help us unload the stuff so that we could head back to the city.
We left them at 9:30pm and arrived back in Edmonton at 11pm last night. So we hit the sack and I got up at 3:30 am to drive to Calgary to be at work by 7am this morning. CRAZY. Plus I had to do all the driving all weekend because My husband still can't drive and his Truck is Horrible to drive!
Well that's my weekend!

What's Your Beef!
I have been thinking lately that is what I should have named my Blog, for that's all I have been using this for. That when something would happen that would piss me off, I would submit a blog. So all considered since I have a somewhat normal life, nothing much happens, so repercussions are, lack of entry's. So I thought I might try to do more about my day to day life.
So who am I?
Well I would like to think of myself as someone who is open minded, curious, non-judgmental, someone who has experienced a lot of relationship and life issues but not much of world experience outside of the province I have grown up in. I love Music and Art, I love anything unusual. I like to understand, not just people but how they think and what makes them who they are and believe what they believe. I have a lot of common sense (which isn't all that common) and am also very practical. I have found myself pigeon holed into a world of normalcy that sometimes I find myself suffocating.
I love my life, and yes I have had to make sacrifices of some of the stuff I loved, but I did so to bring other things into my life that I also love. So can I complain? Yes, but the real question is, would I change anything? No.
There are small things I can do though, I can start painting again, which I have. I miss seeing bands but I can't handle to noise level and smoke, you know being Old and everything, ha, ha! Not sure what the solution would be. But I do want to start taking dance lesson's and I have gotten my Husband to agree :-) (could be interesting). So I'm thinking to find a more high class bar that has dinner and live band of Jazz or Blues. Now that would be Great! The other thing I want to start doing is going to see live entertainment, like Improv Theatre. I know of a great place in Calgary that I want to start being a regular at "AGAIN".
We are just moving to a different city so it's a great time to make some changes in our lives.
We don't know too many people here, so hopefully over time that will change and we will meet couples at the same stage of life as we are now.
Hummmm! Time will tell.

In the eye's of the beholder
No one is ever satisfied!
Everyone wants more then what they have!
The Grass is always greener on the otherside!

These are very true statments in regards to peoples desires and feelings about themselves. They are never good enough in their own eyes.

I look at the life of some people I know and dream of leading a life like theirs. But then the other day I was talking to a friend and we got into a deep conversation and I was mentioning a guy I knew and all the things he has done and is doing, all the things he has learned and activities he has partaken and how I find myself lacking. But then when I said this to him he laughed at me, and he was like, heck you have done so much with your own life and look at all the things you have done, you have done a heck of a lot.

I had to stop and look again at my life, and yes I have done a lot and am doing a lot, just not the same things as this guy. Doesn't mean the things I have done less or more of value, just different. I once felt ashamed of my life when I spoke to him and now I feel like bragging :-) For now I see all the things I have that he doesn't and I smile for I wouldn't give them up for anything.

How stupid people can be!
Have you ever noticed that some people just can't follow an e-mail conversation unless you reply with history. I could see this if a day or more passes inbetween e-mails but for some even if there is only a few minites gap, they can't rememebr what they were talking about. Ok so you have a short memory, LOOK IN YOUR SENT FOLDER!!!!!!!
If it's not right in front of them, they don't see it.

To know a person is right for you!
Yeah, it's always a puzzle to me, for so much of my personality is pulled from the people around me. Ok I worded that wrong. It's all MY personality but certain people draw out certain aspects of my personality more then others. With my husband he draws out the invert aspect of my personality, which sometime I wonder if it is a good thing.
When I hung around an old group of friends of mine, I felt sometimes like a social butterfly, I was always busy with friends and stuff. Now I'm lucky if I see any friends once a month.
I try to sit and wonder sometimes how I wished my life was, weather I wanted to be the fly by the seat of my pants, band follower, music lover, free to do as I please with little responsibilities to others. Or the domestic house wife who looks after the house and kids and cooks and cleans. Or the person who's life I live, the Career wife, with the domestic husband, who seldom see's her friends, but they are still just as important to her, Semi settled, semi-transient life, Planning on moving from City to City as long as the work and security can be found. I find it's kind of in-between the two extremes.
I learned a long time ago, that I could be who ever I wanted to be, live what ever life I wanted to live. So instead I let things happen, so I could have a little mystery in my life.
My Dream? Well I would say it wouldn't be where I am now. Even though I am completely happy in the life I live, sometimes a little reflective though.
If I had picked my life, well I would be married to a guitar player, while running my own contracting company in Environmental Design, mostly on-line. Traveling from place to place, doing most of my work on the computer. We would have a couple of cabin's at lakes and that would be the closest to homes we would have. No kids, but we would have a dog. I would have a couple of Painting studios set up at various locations such as Indonesia, Banff and Vancouver Island, over looking the forests or ocean.
Well something like that anyway.

Why is it that people just can't admit they are wrong? Even when they do they seem to add a "but..." statement right after. Like my husband is a prime example of this. He got into a car accident a few months ago, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "It you hadn't wanted to go to that store, we wouldn't have gotten into this accident" I guess in a sence he is right, we wouldn't have been there if we were not running an errand for me. But I didn't make him pull out in front of that vehicle, and by no means did going to that store require him to smash the car up. The thing is if he had listened to me in the first place and had gone around back like I suggested, we wouldn't have had to cross that line of traffic. Now again the other day, he left his book at the hotel that we were staying at last week. So it is my fault of course, even though I told him twice to pack it away. But because I didn't go in and do another sweep of the rooms before I left, even though they all told me that they had already done a sweep and I was not in a position to do so. I know a lot of people make excusses when they do something wrong, but making excusses is different then blaming others for your mistakes. The thing worst about my husband is that when you ask him why he doesn't blame himself at all, he will tell you otherwise, for he does blame himself, he just doesn't communicate that to the world, which ends up causeing others to resent him. Good example is his co-worker who seem to absolutely hate him, and that seems to be one of his biggest complaints, that he always passes the buck so to speak. Yeah maybe his is right sometimes that his mistake have been caused by other's stupidity. But still you made assumptions that were not correct. Take reponsibility for that at least.

Work!
We all do it in one form or another, weather we are self employed, a employee, and employer, house wife, you name it. Even when your unemployed you still work at trying to find another job, or work at entertaining yourself while everyone you know is at work, maybe it's just the work required to lift your remote control for you TV, it's still work! We all have to do it, so why is there such unhappiness out there about their jobs? So now you need to bring into the equation the factor of job satisfaction. So what makes you satisfied with your job? Is it variety, accomplishment, paycheck, people, prestige, fame, the look in your child's eye, or finding that much searched for TV program you wanted to see? For me it's variety and learning new things. I get bored very quickly when doing the same thing over and over again, part of the reason I never read a book twice or why I don't own a collection of DVD movies. I have to be really desperate to watch a movie a second time or it had to be really, really, really good! So now that said I'll tell you a thing or two about my job. I used to Love it!!!!!!!! I used to count myself as one of the lucky one's, that I actually found a job that I really enjoyed doing. But now I have switched companies and I am on a project where the repetitiveness has come to new heights. I am seeing the work I did 2 1/2 years ago, repeatedly come back across my desk over and over again. The things built and done but no I am still changing things because either the software isn't set up right so it gets put on hold or that we need field measurements but the client doesn't want us to get them ourselves so we have to go through a third party who has no clue what we need and we try to tell them but they still seem to either miss things we ask for or misinterpret what we ask for. It's as much fun as going to the dentist!!! I have now started to finally make some waves asking for a change and I have sent out resumes for I need out of this rut I have fallen into. I find myself wasting so much time at work for I would rather twiddle my thumbs then look at the work that is on my desk, so then the vicious cycle begins. I now find myself depressed for I don't feel good about myself for I am not giving my employer the fast results I know I could. I just find it really hard to care. When you see no productivity in your job it can be very very depressing. I keep telling myself that I am being paid well, but then because I waste so much time I feel that they are wasting their money paying me. I know this is an exaduration but some days I feel that If I came in one day a week instead of 5 and worked like I used to when I loved my job I would still get more done then I am now at 5 days a week. This has to change, not only because sooner or later my boss might get annoyed but because I don't feel very good about myself because of my lack of enthusiasm so to speak.

This is a comment to an article that I read yesturday on http://www.wilwheaton.net on the issue of same sex marrieges.

"I'm Canadian, and I agree with you 100% and am sure my friends and family have been subjected to my opinion on this many times over. Canada has had the same issues going on for a while now. Ontario has allowed Same sex marriages, but Ralph Klein out in alberta has the same veiw as Bush. I normal have backed Ralph Klein in most of the things he has done for Alberta and have looked past his drinking problem and other such media slashing that has been done, but why is same sex marriages any of the governments concern. Yeah I respect that Bush and Klein have an opinion and that they stand by it but that they are trying to force their opinions on others is unacceptable. The thing that worries me most about it is the fact that the youth of today don't turn out for voting like they should. That the percentage is down. So the people who do vote, like our parents and grandparents are the one's who's has the higher percentage of perticipation in voting and they are the one's who will most likely have the old school views and closed minded opinions on subjects like same sex marriages."

As the Youth of Today, we need to start taking a more active roll in the decisions that are made in the world of today, for we can make a difference, we just have to be willing to make the effort. Maybe they should start setting up poll stations on the internet, I bet a lot more of the younger population would place their votes. Use our Netfile numbers for traking or something. I'm sure it could be done. If they will let us do our taxes online, why not vote?

Have you ever noticed how everyone's solution to everything that ails you is "Have you seen a Doctor?" You have a cold, go to the Doctor, you pulled a muscle, go to the doctor, I have a pimple, go to the doctor. It's crazy. So what is he going to say? "You have a cold, go home and get some rest and drink lots of fluids" I'm sorry, anyone with a brain can tell you the same thing. I don't need a phd to know what a cold is or a pulled muscle. Use some common sence people. You don't need antibiotics and drugs for everything. What you need is time and a little patients. I swear most Doctors have just gotten in the habbit of perscribing drugs just to get rid of the complainers. Pretty soon if things keep going this way, we will be dieing from the common cold. Our immune systems will have wittled down to nothing. I don't like being sick any more then anyone else but I try to give my body a chance to fight it off itself so that it can become stronger and more able to fight the next bug that comes around. I don't do "Flu shots" either. I want them to still be an option when I truelly do need them.

I wrote these words of advice to a friend of mine today

As for scaling how much one person loves as to what another person Loves.
The amount that you love him might be the max you could love anyone. where he might feel emotionally a deeper love but maybe he is more capable to feel a deeper love then you are. Everyone is on their own gradient.

Like a person who is infatuated with someone might feel such a profound and strong pull towards this person to feel that the sun rises and falls by that person, but do they really love that person or the image they have created.

Love is very complex with many, many levels.

To you, just decideing to move in with this person means a lot and is a big commitment for you, where maybe to him, he moves in with every girl he's been in a relationship with. So might mean very little. So he has to show it in another way, his own way.

The Dreaded EX's

A few months ago I came to a huge epiphany in my own life. I had recently became reacquainted with an old ex boyfriend. My first Love so to speak. Great guy, one of who I do admire, and in some small warped way will always love since he was my first. Well anyway, our relationship ended quite tragically when I caught him cheating on me. We tried to work things out (which I have sworn and have held by that swear to never do again). So we parted way as friends. This guy had some how placed me on a pedestal (yes and he still cheated). He thought my life was so perfect and that I was a dream come true so to speak and for anyone who knows me would laugh at this. Once he started to get to know me and when I let him down and he begun to realize I was just like everyone else. He no longer knew where to place me in his life. So he began to question and soon I found I went to being able to do no wrong to being able to do no right. And remember this is after we had broken up. Every mistake I made he would rub in my face, anything to make me look bad or feel bad about myself. To give the guy credit, I do not really believe he ever meant to do these things. After time went by I found myself walking on egg shells always worried about doing anything wrong, feeling our friendship was fragile and I had to keep it from breaking. Now we had a huge fight, or should I say he accused me of doing stuff I hadn't done and if I had done It would mean I was a huge bitch. I was pissed and lets say he was very mean and said things to me that he knew would hurt me the most. If he had been anywhere within a two hour drive I would have been there and clawed his eyes out to say the very least but no he did it from a distance. So we never talked for around 5 years, till one day we ran into each other and traded e-mail addresses and it wasn't till a year after that that I finally contacted him and that was after hearing he had gotten married and had straightened out his life. We e-mailed for a while till we finally decided to go for coffee with our significant others. The first words out of his mouth when we met was "I always knew you had a big mouth" For my mom is friends with his mom and I mentioned something to my mom and of course she mentioned it to his mom type thing. Anyway my heart dropped to my toes. I was horrified feeling of how I could never do anything right washed over me. Those feelings of trying to save a fragile friendship. I beat myself up about it for 3-4 days when all of a sudden I snapped! Why the hell do I care! This person is no longer part of my life, hell I don't even really know him even anymore. I was completely content the last 5-6 years without him in my life, why do I need him now. So I sent him a message telling him how his friendship isn't worth the way he makes me feel, and that I know it's not really his fault but that I don't like the person I feel like when I am around him and frankly it's not worth it! I wish his response would have been, "Sorry I didn't realize you felt that way, and I would like to see if we can change that" but no it was him saying I was being a bitch for no reason and hasn't talked to me since. That's not what I wanted, but in order for me to "clease" myself of old hurts I needed to get it out. I am OK with how things turned out and I wouldn't change anything, unless I could have helped him be more understanding. So to all you people who have ex's that have not made you feel good about yourself at some point or another. Ask yourselves, does having this person in your life really make your life better in anyway? Does keeping your hurts inside make you happier? Or would your life be a lot better with your thoughts and conscience clear and out in the open?

I have this Dilbert desktop calander, the one's that have a new joke for every day. Well the Joke for Febuary 9th said something like this: "I figured out what's wrong with life: It's other people." Now isn't that the truth. My husband says very similar everyday when he's driving. Like "Man the drive home would be pleasent if it wasn't for all these stupid people on the roads" I try to tell him that he is also one of those "Stupid people on the road" But he just can't fathum this concept. He seems to think just because He thinks he's a good driver that everyone else in the world must think so too. I happen to be one that doesn't not think he's a good driver.

Fighting normalcy
I have recently looked in on the lives of some people I used to know, people I once was inseparable from, people who were my life!! As I learn more about what they are doing in their lives makes me look at my life and how much we have grown apart. As much as I hate to admit it and despise the fact, I have become "Normal" I am married, have a dog, go to work come home to our house where we have supper and either sit and watch TV for the evening or we play on our computers. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but there are somedays when I dream of the world I left behind. A world of no responsibilities, a life of living at the bars, watching live bands, being on the top of all the new music coming out. Like most of these bands that are out now and are the big Cats ass, are all bands that I watched at some sleazy bar like 8-10 years ago for the small price of the bar's cover charge. We were always doing crazy things. Friends were passing out drunk from their perch on a branch up in a tree, or firefighters would arrive at our weekly burnings, because someone, miles and miles away would spot the flames, or we would pack up and head south at the spur of the moment. We even had a friend sprayed with pepper spray right in the eyes once from some distraught crazy women. Those were good times. But then tragedy struck my life and things changed, people moved away, other's went berserk. I buried my head in work and walked a different path. I don't want to be "Normal" but at the same time, I'm not willing to sacrifice having my car or my house for going to see live bands and sacrificing my job to go out hiking through the mountains or white water canoeing or such things. Not willing to sacrifice my health for the desires of alcohol and pot. I am no longer young, but then I'm not old either. I sometimes wonder if I only ventured into that life to prove to my first love that he was wrong about me, when he told me that I would be happier with some yuppie with a white picket fence type life. But then again I may have embarked in my life of music and craziness because of my infatuation with a certain short dark haired "old man" that I came to think of the biggest mistake I ever made was letting him get away. I admire him still for everything he has done and accomplished. If I manage to do even a third of what he does, I will be impressed. So here I am feeling like I could be so much more then what I am. Sometimes I sit and think about all the things I want to do in my life and I feel so overwhelmed that I find myself doing absolutely nothing. I sometimes feel that it's pure laziness on my part, but sometimes I feel that it's just that I am too scared that I wont fit into that world any more, after being away for so long. I think though the thing I miss the most of that life, it the fact that I had a group of friends that were always around, seldom a day went by that I didn't see them all. We all lived within a few blocks and we all hung out and partied together. Kind of like the TV show "Friends" Well anyway that's the end of my rant for now.

Well I'm a newbie Blogger
I just decided I needed a place to bitch about things in general.
I'm a 28 year old female professional who just wants a voice.

Christmas
With Christmas just past, I just wnated to mention, even as much as I really LOVE giving gifts to people, far more then recieving. I still think Christmas is a scam. Coorporations way of taking our money! Cards, wrapping paper, scotch tape, decorations, lights, christmas ornimates, they all cost us a small fortune and that's not even including the presents. How many of you have thrown out rolls and rolls of wrapping paper after christmas is over? The amount of garbage over the christmas season is unbelievable. I walked my Dog down the block the few days following christmas and the huge piles and piles of garbage in front of everyone's (including my own) left me speachless. Come on people, we need to find ways of still giving and showing our loved ones how much we care that isn't so wasteful.