The Dreaded EX's

A few months ago I came to a huge epiphany in my own life. I had recently became reacquainted with an old ex boyfriend. My first Love so to speak. Great guy, one of who I do admire, and in some small warped way will always love since he was my first. Well anyway, our relationship ended quite tragically when I caught him cheating on me. We tried to work things out (which I have sworn and have held by that swear to never do again). So we parted way as friends. This guy had some how placed me on a pedestal (yes and he still cheated). He thought my life was so perfect and that I was a dream come true so to speak and for anyone who knows me would laugh at this. Once he started to get to know me and when I let him down and he begun to realize I was just like everyone else. He no longer knew where to place me in his life. So he began to question and soon I found I went to being able to do no wrong to being able to do no right. And remember this is after we had broken up. Every mistake I made he would rub in my face, anything to make me look bad or feel bad about myself. To give the guy credit, I do not really believe he ever meant to do these things. After time went by I found myself walking on egg shells always worried about doing anything wrong, feeling our friendship was fragile and I had to keep it from breaking. Now we had a huge fight, or should I say he accused me of doing stuff I hadn't done and if I had done It would mean I was a huge bitch. I was pissed and lets say he was very mean and said things to me that he knew would hurt me the most. If he had been anywhere within a two hour drive I would have been there and clawed his eyes out to say the very least but no he did it from a distance. So we never talked for around 5 years, till one day we ran into each other and traded e-mail addresses and it wasn't till a year after that that I finally contacted him and that was after hearing he had gotten married and had straightened out his life. We e-mailed for a while till we finally decided to go for coffee with our significant others. The first words out of his mouth when we met was "I always knew you had a big mouth" For my mom is friends with his mom and I mentioned something to my mom and of course she mentioned it to his mom type thing. Anyway my heart dropped to my toes. I was horrified feeling of how I could never do anything right washed over me. Those feelings of trying to save a fragile friendship. I beat myself up about it for 3-4 days when all of a sudden I snapped! Why the hell do I care! This person is no longer part of my life, hell I don't even really know him even anymore. I was completely content the last 5-6 years without him in my life, why do I need him now. So I sent him a message telling him how his friendship isn't worth the way he makes me feel, and that I know it's not really his fault but that I don't like the person I feel like when I am around him and frankly it's not worth it! I wish his response would have been, "Sorry I didn't realize you felt that way, and I would like to see if we can change that" but no it was him saying I was being a bitch for no reason and hasn't talked to me since. That's not what I wanted, but in order for me to "clease" myself of old hurts I needed to get it out. I am OK with how things turned out and I wouldn't change anything, unless I could have helped him be more understanding. So to all you people who have ex's that have not made you feel good about yourself at some point or another. Ask yourselves, does having this person in your life really make your life better in anyway? Does keeping your hurts inside make you happier? Or would your life be a lot better with your thoughts and conscience clear and out in the open?